FarmGolf Banquet Held on Dec. 21st, 2003 Golfing Awards Presented, The FarmGolf Website Gets a New Look for the World’s Fastest Growing Sport,
2004 FarmGolf Calendar Released

Annual FarmGolf Banquet and Awards Dinner Held
on December 21, 2003

(FGP)   In a fitting conclusion to the most exciting season of golf on record, FarmGolf held a lavish December banquet at the Clubhouse.  Catering was performed by various FarmGolfers led by Chef David Miller.  The menu was as follows:

Chef Dave’s Grilled Turkey
Evan’s Specialized Mashed Potatoes and Gravy
Doc Creed’s Cranberry Salad
Nancy’s Broccoli Casserole and Deluxe Coleslaw
G’s Homemade Pumpkin Pie
and Mike’s Merlot

At the conclusion of the meal, the 2003 FarmGolf Golfing Awards were presented to the following:

Scott Sublett – Golfer Of The Year
Curtis BodkinsRookie Of The Year
Kate Hannah – Best Female Golfer
Judy Smith – Most Loyal Website Visitor
Drew Phillips – Best Drinker on a FarmGolf Course
With the Last Name of Phillips
George Proudfoot – Most Valuable Equipment Operator
in a FarmGolf Course Upgrade
Dan Papez – Special Course Beautification Award

As set in the bylaws of FarmGolf, the position of Club Pro was open for nominations to challenge the present Club Pro, David Smith, who recently completed a two-year term.  Prior to opening the floor, the Commissioner read a letter received from Mr. George Steinbrenner, a non-voting Director at the FarmGolf course in New York City.  The text of the letter read as follows:

“It is with great honor that I serve as a director of the New York City FarmGolf course.  It is a position that I most dearly cherish.  However, I feel that in golf, as in baseball, one serving in an important position within a sport must produce to the best of their ability and I would urge those FarmGolfers who possess the ability to place a nomination at the bi-annual meeting at the upcoming FarmGolf Banquet to seriously consider a new direction in this important position.  A Club Pro should be in top physical condition and always be in uniform for all major golfing events.  I hereby suggest that the name of Scott Sublett be placed in nomination”.  Signed: George Steinbrenner, Director, New York City FarmGolf Course

At this point the Board of Directors adjourned into executive session for 30 minutes.

Later, at the reconvened meeting, the floor was opened for nominations.  It should be noted that the present Club Pro had already left the banquet prior to the Board of Directors meeting.

No nominations were made from the floor, so by default the existing Club Pro retained his position.

All other FarmGolf Directors were re-elected to another term and the meeting was then adjourned.  FarmGolfers and their special guests then socialized to a very late hour.  Pictures of the post-banquet festivities are shown below.

Left to right: Heather Locklear, G Sparks and a tipsy Paris Hilton

After dining, some of the special FarmGolf guests pose with the FarmGolf Poet.

Left to right: Evan Heatherly, Kate Hannah, Nancy Miller, Nicky Hilton, Drew Phillips, Mel Gibson and Judy Smith

Evan Heatherly and Nancy Miller listen to Mel Gibson discuss his early golfing days in Australia.

FarmGolf Website Revamped

(FGP)   The spinning golf balls of FarmGolf have disappeared from the FarmGolf HomePage.  All pages of the website were revamped as of December 24, 2003.  As a result of the upgrade, the downloading time of the main webpage has been reduced by 60 percent for dialup connections.

The Old FarmGolf HomePage can be found by searching the “Wayback Machine” for, but it will no longer be updated.  The page officially retired on December 19, 2003.


2004 FarmGolf Calendar Now Available

(FGP)   The 2004 FarmGolf Calendar was distributed to all attendees of the December banquet.

New FarmGolf Poem

(FGP)  The newest poem by Nine Irony “The Joy of Golf” is here.  All other FarmGolf poems can be found at the Prose by Nine Irony page.

The Joy of Golf By Nine Irony

There once was a man named Mike,
Who had a bunch of friends he did like.
He built a golf course where they once put up hay,
And invited all of his friends out to play.

“If golf were sex,” Mike once did say,
“I’d do it often, at least twice per day.
Stroke it in the morning and through out the day.
I’d own stock in Viagra, instead of Calloway.”

Mike was good, of this there’s no doubt,
“But twice a day?” His friends did shout.
“My driver is long and I have balls at the ready,
And with putter in hand, in the hole it goes steady.”

Mike looked at his friends, their faces a-gasp.
While their composure they attempted to grasp.
“I love to do it”, Mike said with a scoff.
His friends smiled and replied, “We still talkin’ about golf?”