The FARMGOLF NEWSLETTER
FarmGolf Exhibition Held in New York City
as Britney’s FarmGolf Suspension Ends, FarmGolf Banquet Set for Sunday, December 21st, B. Smith and C. Smith Win FarmGolf Fall Classic, FarmGolf Website to Get New Look by the End of November
FarmGolf Exhibition Held on September 20, 2003
at the New Course located in Central Park
(FGP) As a follow-up to the July 25, 2003 groundbreaking ceremony, several of the Top 40 FarmGolfers in the world traveled to New York City for a golfing exhibition. Play was held on Saturday, September 20th at the recently completed 6-hole FarmGolf Course in Central Park. Six (6) two-man teams of FarmGolfers played 6 holes on the newly constructed course. Making their big city debuts were the following teams:
1. Brian Smith and Chad Smith
2. Dan Papez and G. Sparks
3. Dan Stalnaker and Paul Bastin
4. Curtis Bodkins and Bill Smith
5. Evan Heatherly and Rob Mitchell
6. Stan Fitzwater and Greg Tucker
Golfers were escorted in two limousines from West Virginia via the Pennsylvania and New Jersey turnpikes to the Big Apple for the exhibition. Limousine service was provided on Friday afternoon at no cost by Donald Trump, an investor in the course. As the sun rose on Saturday morning, weather changed from early morning haze to a sunny, partly cloudy day.
The below picture is looking east from the tee area as Dan Papez practices his swing. The green for Hole No. 1 is located adjacent to Central Park East, just below the center of the park near 76th Street. This day was also a homecoming for Britney Spears, who had been suspended from FarmGolf for several months due to twice attempting to smoke a cigarette in the FarmGolf Clubhouse. She followed players along the course, keeping them very well entertained.
FarmGolfers loosen up prior to the 6-hole Exhibition Match, as recently reinstated No. 1 FarmGolf Fan Britney Spears watches.
Evan Heatherly takes practice swings on Hole No. 6 located in the southwest corner of Central Park as the large crowd excitedly awaits the completion of the exhibition.
The New York City course has a par of 22 for six holes, in keeping with the format of the original FarmGolf course. However, Hole No. 6 plays much easier on the Central Park course. Water hazards are located on Holes 2 and 3. Hole No. 4 has a very narrow fairway and requires an accurate tee shot. Only two (2) sand traps, both of which are located on Hole No. 5, were initially constructed for this course, as it was felt that it would be good for all new FarmGolfers to acclimate themselves to the course conditions, before making it any tougher.
Results for the exhibition were as follows:
1st place – Evan Heatherly and Rob Mitchell – 3 under
2nd Place Tie – Curtis Bodkins and Bill Smith – 2 under
Brian Smith and Chad Smith – 2 under
3rd Place Tie – Dan Papez and G. Sparks- 1 under
Dan Stalnaker and Paul Bastin- 1 under
4th Place – Stan Fitzwater and Greg Tucker – Even
FarmGolfers enjoy some socializing in Times Square with Britney, who playfully threatens to punch their lights out if she is ever suspended again
After exhibition play was complete, all of the golfers along with Britney and several of her friends partied in the Times Square area. Partying continued throughout the night until very early the next morning. Complimentary rooms for each FarmGolf team were provided by the Waldorf Astoria hotel on Park Avenue for both nights of the two-night stay.
Teams headed back home on early Sunday afternoon knowing that they had performed quite well in their first round on the new course. It is recommended that all fans of FarmGolf reserve a tee time upon their next visit to New York City.
No. 3 and No. 5 Greens Rebuilt
(FGP) A few days after the conclusion of the FarmGolf PGA Championship, No. 3 and No. 5 greens were reconstructed on the original FarmGolf course. Both of the greens had their total surface areas increased by almost 50 percent.
The primary contractors on this job were Miller and Heatherly Excavating and Green Revegetation Company.
A Revamped FarmGolf Website is Coming by the End of November
(FGP) Soon, the spinning golf balls of FarmGolf will be but a footnote in history as a new, faster-loading HomePage will be available. This will shorten downloading times for those on dialup modems. While the color scheme will remain the same, there will be several new things on the main page. The complete revision of the FarmGolf site will occur sometime around Thanksgiving.
Also, the Board of Directors have determined that we need to “lighten up” and not take our sport so seriously. Accordingly, the Humor Section will receive a major overhaul.
FarmGolf Fall Classic Results of October 19, 2003
(FGP) Less than perfect weather kept turnout for the last tournament of the season to only four (4) teams. The No. 10 FarmGolfer in the world, David Miller, had to sit out the tournament for lack of a playing partner. He entertained himself in the bar area as sort of a consolation prize.
Course conditions were very difficult as reflected by the final scores. Results of the 2003 FarmGolf Fall Classic tournament were as follows:
1st Place – Brian Smith and Chad Smith – 2 under
2nd Place – Evan Heatherly and Rob Mitchell – 1 under
3rd Place – Mike Green and David Smith – Even
4th Place – Dan Papez and G Sparks – 5 over
FarmGolf Banquet and Elections to Be Held on December 21, 2003
(FGP) To celebrate the completion of the 2nd full season of FarmGolf and a total of eight (8) major tournaments, FarmGolf will have its second bi-annual banquet. This will be the first banquet since the inaugural gathering in December, 2001. No banquet was scheduled in 2002, due to the Commissioner and the Special Assistant to the Commissioner having to be out of town over the holiday season. However, those two are planning no special trips this year and it is expected that an even larger turnout will show for the banquet celebrating the world’s fastest growing sport.
As set in the bylaws of FarmGolf, the position of Club Pro will come up for re-election as the two-year term will soon be expiring. There are rumors swirling around the Clubhouse that David Smith will turn in his resignation and not seek re-election. With the current bylaws, he is eligible to serve an additional two years, but may not serve more than two (2) consecutive two-year terms.
His resignation would be quite a surprise to most FarmGolfers, as he has lived and breathed FarmGolf since its inception. We will await the Board of Directors meeting during the business session immediately after the banquet to see if this rumor proves to be true. Nominations from the floor will be accepted during the business meeting and it will be interesting to see the final result of this very important FarmGolf position.
Several of the past celebrities who have been a part of FarmGolf since its humble beginnings are expected to attend the banquet. Look for a star-studded lineup similar to that which greeted the original Clubhouse Dedication Ceremony of January 22, 2002.
Awards will also be given out to the lady golfers, as they have completed their second season and deserve recognition.
FarmGolf’s Poet Has A New Poem
(FGP) The second poem by Nine Irony is here. In addition, all FarmGolf poems can be accessed by clicking on one of the Prose by Nine Irony page.
Who Are We? By Nine Irony
We attend every Farm Golf event,
And even more of our time here is spent.
Everyone with their long metal sticks,
Swinging at white balls to get their kicks.
Some walk around with plastic containers,
Others crack jokes like entertainers.
We just don’t get it, but we’re not upset.
Is this because we’re all wet?
The Commissioner, later, turns on the grill.
He stands there flipping and turning things still.
But this is all we can see, you see,
The only things in our proximity.
That is it, no more to tell.
We just swim around in our watery hotel.
By now you’ve guessed, if you have class.
Yes, we are the FarmGolf Bass