NEWSLETTER

4 Years and 1 Month Later, the FarmGolf Newsletter Block by Obama Administration Rescinded by President Trump … 2013 – 2016 Tournament Results … Clubhouse Beer Cooler Upgraded to 4 Taps … Tournament and Tailgate Pictures 


The Obama Ordeal Is Finally Over, Newsletter Block Rescinded

(FGP)  Since December 31, 2012, the great sport of FarmGolf has been under a virtual lockdown for denying Barack Obama access to our hallowed golf course.  After defeating Mitt Romney on November 6, 2012, our illustrious, now former President demanded that he be allowed to play at FarmGolf, as the three previous Presidents had.  We informed the President that his request would be discussed at our next Board of Directors meeting after the annual FarmGolf Banquet.

As Obama had referenced, President George H. W. Bush played our course in October, 2001.  Then, President William J. Clinton played with Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley.  Finally, President George W. Bush attended FarmGolf on December 3, 2002 to announce a government grant of $600,000.00, and played earlier in October, 2001 and at the Celebrity Challenge of August 24, 2004.

Barack Obama laughs as Eric Holder tells him that FarmGolf Newsletters are no longer allowed to be published.

At the December, 2012 annual meeting, the Board of Directors discussed the golfing request.  The conclusion of the executive session was that the majority of FarmGolfers viewed Barack Obama as an arrogant prick, and did not want him at our extremely private course.  Therefore, his request was denied.

Two days later, FarmGolf received a letter from the Justice Department stating that “FarmGolf shall cease and desist the publishing of Newsletters to promote the sport of FarmGolf throughout the world”.

The denial of course access, eventually proved to be very detrimental to the sport of FarmGolf.  In January, 2013, FarmGolf was informed that our status as a tax-exempt organization was being disallowed by Lois Lerner of the IRS for the years from 2009 to 2011.  Our legal team fired back that the tax-exempt revocation was arbitrary and capricious.

Lois Lerner tells FarmGolf what she thinks about their IRS complaint

Throughout early 2013, FarmGolf’s internet access was continuously blocked, which limited any significant site updates.  This placed the world’s fastest growing sport in a serious downward spiral.

Finally, a preliminary hearing was held with the IRS and FarmGolf via video conference regarding our three years of tax returns near the end of February, 2013.  At the end of the hearing, Lois Lerner displayed her disdain for FarmGolf’s complaint with a simple hand gesture.  So, for the next six months, FarmGolf was subjected to even more intense scrutiny for all of the expenses related to new course construction in New York City, Las Vegas and Bermuda.  These developmental costs have yet to be legally resolved.

Michelle Obama has a shit-eating grin after Tiffani Green tells her to f___off.

In late March of 2013, Michelle Obama traveled to Philippi to shop at Archdeacon’s. Upon leaving the store, she noticed Deputy Commissioner, Tiffani Green, walking down Main Street.  Ms. Obama hurried down the street to Court House square and immediately went into an expletive-filled tirade about FarmGolf not allowing her husband to play golf.  Tiffani attempted to be cordial, but after so many harsh words, told Michelle to f—off.

As a result of this encounter, FarmGolf had a series of “dirty tricks” occur during the 2013 season.

1. Company phone records were seized and the Deputy Commissioner and Commissioner cell phones were tapped.

Two of the FarmGolf ponds polluted after EPA inspection

2. Two of the FarmGolf ponds were turned orange a few days after an all-day EPA inspection of the FarmGolf complex.

3. One of our Washington, DC contacts informed us that NSA had been conducting mass surveillance on all of the Top 25 FarmGolfers in the World.

4. An increase in road kill along Route 92 at 9152 Morgantown Pike in the vicinity of No. 4 Green and the main entrance into the FarmGolf Complex.  It appeared that animal bodies had been dumped and not actually killed at this location.

President Trump Signs Executive Order Allowing FarmGolf to Publish Newsletters

So, it has now been nearly four years and one month since the last published newsletter, that being the December 31, 2012 FarmGolf Newsletter.  Today on January 23, 2017, President Donald J. Trump signed an Executive Order that allows FarmGolf to once again publish news and current happenings at the home of the world’s fastest growing sport.

The President has informed us that he will be coming to FarmGolf in a few weeks for a major announcement.  Stay tuned for a report in the next newsletter.


2013 Tournament Results

2013 FarmGolf Masters2013 US FarmGolf Open

2013 British FarmGolf Open
2013 FarmGolf PGA

2014 Tournament Results

2014 FarmGolf Masters
2014 US FarmGolf Open
2014 British FarmGolf Open 
*won on 2nd Hole of Playoff

2014 FarmGolf PGA

2015 Tournament Results

2015 British FarmGolf Open
2015 FarmGolf PGA

(FGP)  As you may notice, not all of the 2015 FarmGolf Tournament Results are displayed in the above tables.  This was due to Obama operatives, Organizing for Action, coming to the FarmGolf Complex in the middle of the night and destroying records on two occasions.

Right after the 2015 FarmGolf Masters, the scoreboard paper was ripped from the outside Clubhouse wall and burned to a crisp, with the ashes left in front of the main door.  After the 2015 US FarmGolf Open, the results were again destroyed, this time with a portable paper shredder.

2016 Tournament Results

2016 FarmGolf Masters *three-way tie, 9 winners!2016 US FarmGolf Open 2016 Scottish FarmGolf Open

(FGP)  The 2016 FarmGolf PGA was not held due to the Commissioner and Deputy Commissioner being in Key West, Florida for an extended period during the Olympics.  As the actual PGA tournament was being held much earlier than normal, we decided to change the format for the normal August tournament.

An Olympic-themed fall tournament was held in September, 2016 with the team of Brian Smith, Neil Creed and Tom Schiefelbein finishing at 8 under par.  Second place finishers were Larry Smith, Mike Green, Steve Marnic and Gary Shaffer at 5 under par.



FarmGolf Event and WVU Tailgate Pictures


New FarmGolf Kegerator

(FGP)  The original Clubhouse kegerator bought in 2001 had deteriorated and it was determined that a replacement would be purchased at the end of the 2015 FarmGolf season. A new Avantco Kegerator/Beer Dispenser with (2) Double Tap Towers was purchased from webstaurantstore.com.  This new and improved system allowed FarmGolf to have four beers on tap.  Currently, we have the following beers on tap.

As all current beers are in the 1/6 keg size, we also stock bottled and canned beers on the two shelves on the left side such as Miller Lite, Bud Light, Coors Light, Fat Tire, Stella and others too numerous to mention.

A bottom area also allows for the storage of two additional 1/6 kegs.


 

 

 

 

 

 

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