The FARMGOLF NEWSLETTER
Bush-Barkley Stomp Clinton-Jordan in FarmGolf Landslide, Smith-Green Win Again, Doc Creed “FarmGolf’s Iron Man” Consecutive Match Streak Broken, Bowers Ties 6-Hole Record and Sets 18-Hole Record
Founded in the Year 2000 - The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth about FarmGolf
George Bush and Charles Barkley are Victorious in Celebrity Match with Bill Clinton and Michael Jordan
(FGP) President George W. Bush, interrupting his Asian trip, flew directly from Tokyo to the FarmGolf Clubhouse in the wee hours of the morning aboard a classified F-5SP Harriet Jet, capable of speeds up to Mach 5 (3,710 miles per hour) to participate in FarmGolf’s President’s Day Golf Tournament in the Celebrity Division. The president stated upon arrival that “he would go half way around the world anytime for the chance to kick Bill Clinton’s ass”. The end of the secret presidential trip, lasting only a little over three hours, is captured (below left photo) as the jet is directed to a landing point adjacent to the FarmGolf Clubhouse.
The President was teamed with Charles Barkley, another top-ranked Republican. As snow had covered the course early in the day during Bush’s arrival, sunny skies midday melted the snow as Former President Bill Clinton’s motorcade made its way to the FarmGolf Course. Clinton had previously mentioned bringing a Mr. Jordan with him, but everyone had been expecting Vernon Jordan, and were quite surprised to see Michael Jordan instead.
Clinton started the golf day off on a sour note when he attempted to use three (3) mulligans on the first hole. Clinton then dug his hole a little deeper by constantly asking “Where are all the girls?”.
For the first several holes, the ex-president also did several pre-putting exercises, which amused Jordan, but not Barkley (above right photo). After some prodding from his playing partner, the former president settled down and put on a courageous and valiant effort, but in the end they were no match for the current chief executive and Sir Charles. After missing a short putt, a dejected Bush walks on to No. 5 Green while Barkley consoles him (above middle photo).
The final score for Bush-Barkley was 2-under for 12 holes, which was five strokes better than the Clinton-Jordan score of 3-over. The losing team requested a rematch at some point in the future. All celebrity players and FarmGolfers saluted “G. W.” as he boarded the jet for the return flight to Japan.
No. 1 FarmGolf Team Wins Again
(FGP) In the regular FarmGolfer Division, David Smith and Mike Green defeated Brian Smith, Lynn Phillips and David Turner in a 3 on 2 match by two strokes. David Miller was on standby in case of an injury occurring on the 3-man team. Reminiscent of UCLA in college basketball, the Commissioner and Club Pro continue on an unprecedented quest of becoming “Barbour County’s dynasty”.
Neil Creed was unable to attend and his normal playing partner, Brian Smith, was given the added benefit of having two men to substitute for the missing one in the afternoon match. It made no difference though, as the highly skillful No. 1 ranked team dealt another crushing defeat to the new No. 2B team.
Doc Creed “FarmGolf’s Iron Man” Consecutive Match Streak Broken
(FGP) The Iron Man of FarmGolf, Neil Creed, had up to this date played in every tournament since the Conception and Invention of FarmGolf. But on this sunny day, he was unable to participate in the President’s Day Golf Tournament. The Doc, while feeling quite well on the morning of the tournament, came down with a severe case of non-acute Carlaiittus at 10:45AM and had to withdraw. We, at FarmGolf, wish him a speedy recovery.
Bill Bowers Ties 6-Hole Record and Sets 18-Hole Record
(FGP) Teamed up in a Saturday singles match with the Iron Man, Doc Creed, two days before the tournament, Bill Bowers had rounds of 20, 23 and 21 for a new 18-hole record of 64, breaking the previous record of 67. Also, in the first round, the record of the Club Pro was tied with a 2-under par 20.
Bowers, acting upon advice from close friend Roger Labatt, attacked the course in a different, aggressive frame of mind. The fearless Bowers was able to conquer his nemesis, Hole No. 6, the entire day. He celebrated the new record by eating a very large portion of cashews and drinking a couple of beers afterwards.