FarmGolf Super Weekend I,   2007 Masters Report,  New Calendar Released for 2007,  2006 FarmGolf Banquet Summary,  Las Vegas Course Update,  Marketing Director Search Continues

Founded in the Year 2000 – The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth about FarmGolf

      FarmGolf Super Weekend I

(FGP)  As part of a new marketing strategy for the world’s fastest growing sport, the 2007 season will be kicked off with FarmGolf Super Weekend I, with a full slate of activities for Saturday, April 7th and Sunday April 8th.

While much of the festivities require an invitation, some of the lesser events are open to the public.  The Super Weekend I schedule is as follows:


FarmGolf Wedding (at the Tent on No. 2 Green) – 3:30PM to 4:00PM
FarmGolf Wedding Reception with Hors’ Devourers
(at Commissioner and Photographer Residence) – 4:15PM to 6:15PM

FarmGolf Wedding Dinner and Reception* (at Lil’ Moe’s in Philippi) – 7:00PM to 8:30PM
(NOTE: An extended list of invitations to the evening event will be mailed by February 26, 2007)
FarmGolf Live Entertainment* (at Lil’ Moe’s in Philippi) – 8:30PM to 12:00Midnight

* A Certified FarmGolf Totally Smoke-free Event

Aerial Map showing Parking Arrangements for April 7th Wedding Event.
Golf Cart Shuttles will be available for shuttling attendees throughout the map area.



6th FarmGolf Masters (Three-Man Teams) – 1:00PM to 6:30PM
Strongest FarmGolfer Contest** – 6:00PM to 8:00PM
Post-tournament Celebration – 8:00PM to 12:00Midnight
** Menu listed below

A new feature of the 6th FarmGolf Masters will be the introduction of the first Strongest FarmGolfer Contest.  The tentative menu for the Strongest FarmGolfer Dinner two hours prior to this event is as follows:

Egg-Salad Sandwiches
Penrose Sausages
Baked Beans
Chili-Cheese Fries
Deviled Eggs
Pickled Eggs
Roasted Garlic
Green Onions

This event is open to the public and it is highly recommended that all of you attend.  Once you get a whiff of this event, you’ll want to come back for more of what FarmGolf offers.

The FarmGolf Super Weekend I is already a big hit with scalpers, as evidenced by the below photo taken just one day after the wedding invitations were mailed out.  We’re sure to be bombarded with more scalpers for the evening ticket event at Lil’ Moe’s.

Waiting at the FarmGolf Boulevard Entrance to the Clubhouse:
An Early Bird Scalper looking for an elusive FarmGolf Wedding Ticket

Evening Entertainment at Lil’ Moe’s is the Dennis McClung Blues Band from 8:30PM to 12:00 Midnight.

Left to Right:  Jason Corder, Linell Merchant, Randy Franklin and Dennis McClung


2007 FarmGolf Masters on Sunday April 8, 2006

(FGP)   As a part of FarmGolf Super Weekend I festivities, the sixth installment of the FarmGolf Masters will feature a number of “wedding holdovers” making their FarmGolf debuts.  Those who perform really well will have a chance to reach a Top 50 FarmGolfer in the World Ranking.

The format will be three players per team, with each team playing three rounds of golf for a total of 18 holes.  Play will begin around 1PM, however special arrangements can be made for tee times as early as 9:00AM for those who must travel a significant distance home.

All participants, especially those wanting to get “ranking points”, should bring a covered dish item for the FarmGolf buffet or Strongest FarmGolfer Contest.


2007 FarmGolf Calendar Released

(FGP)  The final edition of the 2007 FarmGolf Calendar was delayed until a few days into the new year.  This was due to the calendar contract being switched to Staples from OfficeMax.

Features in this year’s calendar include the world famous FarmGolf Aerial Photographer, Eric McGuire, adorning the cover.  Also, the January month featured a look back to the year 19 B.F. (Before FarmGolf) with the way life was back prior to the invention of the world’s fastest growing sport.

Collages from the FarmGolf European Tour and more extensive WVU Football Tailgate pictures from the 2006 season are included.


Annual FarmGolf Banquet, December 17, 2006

(FGP)   The traditional FarmGolf Banquet had a change of venue for the 2006 season.  For the first time, ladies were given a FarmGolf Urinal reprieve and the banquet was moved to the Commissioner/Photographer residence.  One of the reasons for the relocation of the banquet was to view the ongoing changes of the primary residence at FarmGolf.

Significant renovations are being done in preparation for FarmGolf Super Weekend I, as can be evidenced from the below photos.  Renovations will be completed in March, 2007.

2006 FarmGolf Banquet Menu
Chef Dave’s Grilled Ham
Tiffani’s Green Beans, Creamed Spinach and Confetti Dip
Shelby’s Broccoli Salad
Larry Boy’s Pasta Salad
Pam Smith’s Homemade Cheese Balls
Head Nurse Deb’s Sausage Balls and Goulash
Rachel’s Jalapeno Dip and Chips
Ed Thorne’s Mom’s Baked Beans
Doc Creed’s Cranberry Salad
Nancy’s Cole Slaw
G’s Homemade Pumpkin Pie
Tiffani’s Special Christmas Cookies
and Mike’s Cabernet, Shiraz and Merlot

This was the largest dinner buffet at FarmGolf in years.

The 2006 FarmGolf Award Recipients were as follows:

Curtis Bodkins – FarmGolf Round of the Year
Tie Jim McCracken and Greg Voreh – Where Are They Now?
Chet Walker – Travel Coordinator of the Year
Hari Jamison – World Traveler of the Year
FarmGolf U-Team – Special Award for Urinal Instruction
The Mountaineer – Sneakiest Drinker at a WVU Football Game
G Sparks – Poet of the Year
John Mosesso – 2nd Golf Shot of the Year

Another addition at the main residence of FarmGolf is high-definition TV, which is now available in both living rooms.  This will be a great addition to view the regular Masters tournament on Saturday afternoon, before the real event occurs on Sunday, April 8th.


Las Vegas Course Update

(FGP)   FarmGolf sent a couple to Las Vegas on February 10th to check on the much-delayed FarmGolf Course located on the Strip between the MGM Grand and the Aladdin Hotels.  This course was slated to open last year, but has experienced some construction delays.  Two Philippi area residents, Pam Green and Greg Annon, promised to check up on the progress of this state-of-the-art facility.

However, as often happens in Las Vegas, they became sidetracked by the many wedding chapels along Las Vegas Boulevard.  Although all of the circumstances are unknown at the time of this newsletter’s publication, we will keep you posted.


Marketing Director Search Continues

(FGP)   After the problems associated with previous Marketing Directors, we have delayed the filling of this position until March, 2007.  A lot has happened since the last newsletter in November, 2006.

FarmGolf has debated amongst the Board of Directors for the past three months as to whether or not the new hire should have a totally clean background with little or no “skeletons in the closet”, OR should we continue and hire someone who resembles many of the FarmGolfers and likes to really have a good time and also do his or her job.

While the second type of hire has worked for a short time, and later “gone to hell”, it still intrigues many of us to finally get it right one way or the other.

During our current search, we have received some contact from two former employees, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.  We were extremely shocked when they both showed up at the Clubhouse last week.  Each of them alternately demanded their old job back or some sort of package deal between the two of them.

Regardless of the previous good times that many of us had with them, we just could not see it working again, especially since it didn’t turn out well the last time.  So, the Board sent them on their merry way, and it was later found out that they drowned their sorrows at Lil’ Moe’s in Philippi.  Below a picture catches them both still a bit upset, while others enjoy their “moment of sorrow”.

Disgruntled Former Employees Paris Hilton and Britney Spears
stop at Lil’ Moe’s in Philippi before heading out of town for the final time

As a final note, FarmGolf found out just a couple of days prior to this newsletter that Britney had shaved her head and was really despondent.  We, at FarmGolf, sincerely hope that it was not due to our rejection of her again assuming Marketing Director duties.

In conclusion, various FarmGolfers and/or the following females have submitted “interview videos” as a consideration for employment.  These would be classified as potential employees with a relatively clean background and no skeletons in the closet.

Mischa Barton
Rachel Bilson
Hilary Duff
Mandy Moore

A final decision will be made on this very important position in the near future, and those emails regarding the employment of either Lindsay Lohan or Tara Reid will also be taken into consideration.