2nd Issue

It’s me again, Paris Hilton, updating all of you about what’s been going on at the home of the world’s fastest growing sport.
The first FarmGolf major tournament is less than two weeks away. Wow, the April 10th FarmGolf Masters is going to be so hot!

So many things are going on in my life now, new perfume, movie, etc. My album is still not finished! Gonna take a few more months. Hang in there, I can only do so many things at a time, you know!


I know most of you out there think that Paris Hilton can not stand to do actual work, but I’ll tell you that maintenance at FarmGolf is not all that hard to do. If it were really hard work like some of the stuff we did on The Simple Life, then yes I wouldn’t have lasted one day. But it’s pretty easy and it’s just so cool preparing the course for the freaking FarmGolf Masters. Here’s a summary of the work that has to be done before a major tournament.

After Stopping at the Philippi McDonalds, Paris Is Ready for Course Maintenance

Here’s me arriving on Saturday morning with breakfast for everybody, looking for my work gloves that I seem to have misplaced in the trunk of the Bentley. It was still chilly, so I was really glad that we waited until almost noon to get started.

Later in the day, we had to remove a few weeds and then aerate the greens. Here’s a picture of me finding a handful of weeds that survived the winter on No. 5 Green.

Then, we all fertilized each green. Other spring items completed included rolling the fairways and aerating them, and finally putting fertilizer and chemicals to control weeds and crabgrass. The Commissioner and Greens Designer did most of the hard stuff, so I really never worked up much of a sweat.

All of this only took a few hours and then it was time to kick back in the Clubhouse for a little bit before going out on the town. We went down to Lil’ Moe’s in Philippi. It’s really hot!

Picking up Dandelions and Crab Grass

I’ll tell you all about that place in my next report. And for all of you girls who want to meet a FarmGolfer, go there because quite a few of them hang out at Lil’ Moe’s!  Those FarmGolfers are all so hot!!!

Another really cool thing that is going to make it’s debut at the FarmGolf Masters is FarmGolf Lager. It’s brewed with groundwater collected from beneath the actual course. How cool is that?

So, only a few more days now until the first major of the the four FarmGolf Majors. The guys always do a big newsletter reporting on all of the happenings. I even have a few of my girlfriends coming down to see these guys in action.

After the tournament, it is going to be really busy for the next couple of months, so my next report won’t be before the end of June or later.
FarmGolf …. that’s hot!!!

Love, Paris

  Letters to Paris

Since the last Paris Report, I’ve had a lot of suggestions as to what everybody wants me to cover.  Let me say first that FarmGolf comes first as that is my job you know.

Now, I want to share a couple of my recent emails with you.

“I have an idea for The Paris Report, you should have a section on fashion.”
Riki of Vancouver, British Columbia

Thanks for the fashion suggestion, but it will be awhile before I cover that because the really cool thing about FarmGolf is that you don’t have to be fashionable here!
It’s just so hot to dress down!  Thanks
– Paris

“I am a fan of you and I think you are the most beautiful and talented girl in the world. I would be glad if you can send me an autographed photo via email, thank you!”
– Andrea of Torino, Italy

Thanks for the email and here’s your photo – Paris
(I’ve had many requests like Andrea’s, but remember Andrea had this photo first!)