FarmGolf Meets with President Trump and Vice-President Pence … President Trump Visits FarmGolf … Hillary Challenges Trump to 6-Hole Match … Celebrity Hillary Supporters Banned from Match … 2017 Masters Course Preparations Planned … New 2017 FarmGolf Rankings to be Released on April 1st
FarmGolf Meets with President Trump and Vice-President Pence
(FGP) After the Executive Order of January 23, 2017 was signed by President Trump allowing FarmGolf to once again publish FarmGolf Newsletters, it was decided that FarmGolf would send representatives to Washington, D. C. on January 27, 2017 to personally thank the President for his quick action.
We were informed that the Vice-President would also like to meet with us, as he is a golfing fan.
The Vice-President even had a small gift for Tiffani, a new book by Michael Knowles, titled Reasons to Vote for Democrats. At first we thought this to be a strange gift, but upon a quick read of the book found it to be most appropriate.
Upon conclusion of our meeting, we invited the President and Vice-President to visit FarmGolf and play a round sometime in February or March of 2017.
President Trump Visits FarmGolf, Course Infrastructure to Be Improved, Future 10-story Condominium Project Planned
(FGP) As the spring of 2017 approached, President Trump and Vice-President Pence visited the historic course of FarmGolf in early March to make additional announcements. A grant of $700,000 was awarded our facility to improve the existing infrastructure, including the refurbishing of the historic Robert C. Byrd Urinal and to remove all junked cars within a one mile radius of the FarmGolf Complex.
Also, preliminary plans are being made for Trump’s sons to build a 10-story condominium building, just to the south of No. 5 Green. As soon as the architect’s rendition drawings are available, we will publish them at farmgolf.com.
The President informed us prior to the visit that he wanted to play six holes of golf. Representatives of Hillary Clinton got wind of the proposed visit, and stated that she wanted to challenge him to a match.
The President, upon hearing of this, said that he would spot “Crooked Hillary” one shot per hole, or a total of six shots for the entire round. Hillary had gotten her nickname during her early golfing days for her consistently errant tee shots, most frequently well to the left of the fairway.
As we were unaware of whatever golfing talents that Hillary had, we still thought that to be a significant amount of strokes to make up over a single round of golf. We agreed to let Hillary play, but under the stiff requirement that she could bring absolutely none of her left-wing asshat friends to cheer her on during the match, or to try and disrupt the President’s visit.
The event started around noon with both contestants arriving at No. 1 Tee Box.
Hillary’s tee shot ended up short of the pond, but she made No. 1 Green in a total of three shots and eventually carded a par. However, the President following up his excellent drive, sank an eagle putt and gained two strokes on the first hole as fans, including Scott Baio and Kid Rock look on.
Bill Murray, the course guest celebrity official for the day, waves to the cameraman as play proceeds to No. 2 Tee Box.
Hole No. 2 featured Hillary getting a bogey after her crooked tee shot traveled way to the right, while President Trump landed on the left side of the No. 2 Green bench and ended up with par. The Donald was now trailing “Crooked Hillary” by only 3 shots with 4 holes to go.
Hole No. 3 featured bogeys for both contestants, so at the halfway point in the 4th Farmgolf Celebrity Match, it was Hillary up by 3 shots.
The Par 5, No. 4 Hole saw Trump hitting another yuge drive that landed about 50 years short of the green. Hillary hit another crooked drive, this time to the left. Trump finished the hole with a birdie and Hillary carded another bogey. The match now had only a one shot differential with two holes to play.
The Par 3, No. 5 Hole saw a par for Trump, and a fourth consecutive bogey for Clinton. The match was now all tied up for the dreaded No. 6 “Hole from Hell”.
At No. 6 Tee Box, Trump again sent a yuge drive about 50 yards below the cup. Hillary took two shots to get to an almost identical position below the green. Hillary was slightly out, so she cautiously approached her third shot and after numerous practice swings sent her ball past the green well above the cup, with the dreaded downhill shot for par.
Trump, surveying the green slope, flicked a beautiful wedge shot that hit the green and on the second bounce dropped into the cup. Becoming just the third player to ever double eagle No. 6, the Donald smiles as he approaches the green.
Hillary immediately went into an expletive filled rage and threw her clubs against the nearby residence, nearly breaking the basement sliding glass door. After stumbling to her waiting limousine, she agreed to come to the Clubhouse to take a leak at the Robert C. Byrd Urinal and pose for a group shot with some of the other celebrities in attendance.
Her behavior was in sharp contrast to that on November 8, 2016 when she refused to address her supporters in New York City. It just shows that she may be gaining some much needed composure in her old age.
Upon Hillary finishing taking her leak, Bill Murray retrieved the FarmGolf Celebrity Challenge Trophy and presented it to the winner, President Donald J. Trump.
In closing, we must give Hillary some credit for agreeing to attend the golf challenge by herself with no left-wing asshat friends, and being somewhat of a good sport for posing in the below photo.
After the closing ceremony, many of the attendees traveled some 10 miles to Lil’ Moe’s for the evening.
Preparations Continue for the April 9, 2017 FarmGolf Masters
(FGP) As the 2007 season heads into the first tournament, people from throughout the United States feel invigorated now that the chains have been removed from the world’s fastest growing sport. With less than four weeks before the first tee shots, it looks to be a breakout season for FarmGolf.
New Rankings of the World’s Top FarmGolfers to be Released
(FGP) The first revised rankings in over two years will be released on April 1, 2017. In addition to the banning of the publication of FarmGolf Newsletters, any revisions to the World Rankings for FarmGolfers was also hindered by the Obama administration.
Another new feature coming out in the next two weeks will be a look back at history of the FarmGolf Clubhouse, from the actual construction nearly sixteen years ago to the status of it today and the resulting infrastructure upgrade scheduled for 2017.