THE FARMGOLF NEWSLETTER
Founded in the Year 2000
Volume 7, Issue 1 January 16, 2004
The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth about FarmGolf
FarmGolf Banquet Held on December 21st
2003 Golfing Awards Presented
The FarmGolf Website Gets a New Look for
the World's Fastest Growing Sport
2004 FarmGolf Calendar Released
Annual FarmGolf Banquet and Awards Dinner Held on December 21, 2003
(FGP) In a fitting conclusion to the most exciting season of golf on record, FarmGolf held a lavish December banquet at the Clubhouse. Catering was performed by various FarmGolfers led by Chef David Miller. The menu was as follows:
Chef Dave's Grilled Turkey
Evan's Specialized Mashed Potatoes and Gravy
Doc Creed's Cranberry Salad
Nancy's Broccoli Casserole and Deluxe Coleslaw
G's Homemade Pumpkin Pie
and Mike's Merlot
At the conclusion of the meal, the 2003 FarmGolf Golfing Awards were presented to the following:
Scott Sublett - Golfer Of The Year
Curtis Bodkins - Rookie Of The Year
Kate Hannah - Best Female Golfer
Judy Smith - Most Loyal Website Visitor
Drew Phillips - Best Drinker on a FarmGolf Course With the Last Name of Phillips
George Proudfoot - Most Valuable Equipment Operator in a FarmGolf Course Upgrade
Dan Papez - Special Course Beautification Award
As set in the bylaws of FarmGolf, the position of Club Pro was open for nominations to challenge the present Club Pro, David Smith, who recently completed a two-year term. Prior to opening the floor, the Commissioner read a letter received from Mr. George Steinbrenner, a non-voting Director at the FarmGolf course in New York City. The text of the letter read as follows:
"It is with great honor that I serve as a director of the New York City FarmGolf course. It is a position that I most dearly cherish. However, I feel that in golf, as in baseball, one serving in an important position within a sport must produce to the best of their ability and I would urge those FarmGolfers who possess the ability to place a nomination at the bi-annual meeting at the upcoming FarmGolf Banquet to seriously consider a new direction in this important position. A Club Pro should be in top physical condition and always be in uniform for all major golfing events. I hereby suggest that the name of Scott Sublett be placed in nomination". Signed: George Steinbrenner, Director, New York City FarmGolf Course
At this point the Board of Directors adjourned into executive session for 30 minutes.
Later, at the reconvened meeting, the floor was opened for nominations. It should be noted that the present Club Pro had already left the banquet prior to the Board of Directors meeting.
No nominations were made from the floor, so by default the existing Club Pro retained his position.
All other FarmGolf Directors were re-elected to another term and the meeting was then adjourned. FarmGolfers and their special guests then socialized to a very late hour. Pictures of the post-banquet festivities are shown below.
Click on picture to enlarge
After dining, some of the special FarmGolf guests pose with the FarmGolf Poet
Left to right: Heather Locklear, G Sparks and a tipsy Paris Hilton
Click on picture to enlarge
Evan Heatherly and Nancy Miller listen to Mel Gibson discuss his early golfing days in Australia
Left to right: Evan Heatherly, Kate Hannah, Nancy Miller, Nicky Hilton, Drew Phillips, Mel Gibson and Judy Smith
FarmGolf Website Revamped
(FGP) The spinning golf balls of FarmGolf have disappeared from the FarmGolf HomePage. All pages of the website were revamped as of December 24, 2003. As a result of the upgrade, the downloading time of the main webpage has been reduced by 60 percent for dialup connections.
The Old FarmGolf HomePage is still available on the site here, but it will no longer be updated. This page officially retired on December 19, 2003.
Humor and Links Pages Updated
(FGP) Several new links have been added to the FarmGolf Humor page, as well as a few more sites to the FarmGolf Links page. All of the presently available Golf Humor Sites on the web are now listed. All local newspapers, as well as those throughout the world, and local and national sports sites can be accessed on the Links page.
2004 FarmGolf Calendar Now Available
(FGP) The 2004 FarmGolf Calendar was distributed to all attendees of the December banquet. If you missed the banquet, however, you can now print off the individual months at home. Go either to the link under the FarmGolf Poet on the top, left side of the main webpage or click here. All twelve months are available for individual printing.
Help File for Printing: The individual picture of each month should be printed out by opening the print command, then selecting Properties and checking the "Fit to Page" box, while also selecting the "Landscape" Orientation for printing. To eliminate browser notes along the borders, it is best to right click and save the picture to your hard drive. Then, open the file in whatever program on your computer displays pictures, then follow the previous instructions to get each picture to fill an 8.5x11 sheet of paper.
New FarmGolf Poem
(FGP) The newest poem by Nine Irony "The Joy of Golf" is here. All other FarmGolf poems can be found by scrolling down the FarmGolf Poet link on The New FarmGolf HomePage.
The Joy of Golf
By Nine Irony
There once was a man named Mike,
Who had a bunch of friends he did like.
He built a golf course where they once put up hay,
And invited all of his friends out to play.
“If golf were sex,” Mike once did say,
“I’d do it often, at least twice per day.
Stroke it in the morning and through out the day.
I’d own stock in Viagra, instead of Calloway.”
Mike was good, of this there’s no doubt,
“But twice a day?” His friends did shout.
“My driver is long and I have balls at the ready,
And with putter in hand, in the hole it goes steady.”
Mike looked at his friends, their faces a-gasp.
While their composure they attempted to grasp.
“I love to do it”, Mike said with a scoff.
His friends smiled and replied, “We still talkin’ about golf?”